At the start of this month I made it a mission to live life closer to my natural physical state. I stopped shaving and I temporarily omitted my usual makeup routine. Initially I wanted to see if I could become comfortable with these elements that I viewed as socially unacceptable. To my surprise I found my body hair to be comforting and beautiful. It created a certain balance of color across my skin that I simply adored. I got more compliments on my glowing bare skin than ever before, despite the lack of highlighter brushed onto the peaks of my cheekbones.
As a result, my confidence in my appearance skyrocketed. I shared my findings with my sister and mother and they were understandably disgusted, at least, by the body hair. I’ve always been into the, as my mother would call it, “granola” lifestyle: growing vegetables with my dad, supporting animal rights, reducing my use of plastic waste, spending countless hours on trails, talking to my plants like children, skipping the Ibuprofen when I have a headache, eating mostly plant foods, always loathing the act of brushing my hair, not to mention my trunk is packed with skates, a Frisbee, a hula hoop, a hammock, you name it. My sister asked me the question, “Why do you prefer the natural?” It got me thinking about what it is that causes me to gravitate toward a lifestyle that is less modern and more outdoor old-school. This is my experience.
When I was born my first visuals were a sterile, florescent-lit room surrounded by strangers draped in monochromatic fabrics. Their expressions were shielded by masks as they presented me to my numb mother. I was fed a blend of purified cows milk, vegetable oils, and vitamins for the first months of my life. As time went on, I graduated to meats produced in cruel living environments, thus breeding stress hormones and negative energy into the flesh I dipped in ranch dressing. I crunched on apples grown in depleted soils, chips deep-fried in factories, and cheese artificially dyed the hue of carrot orange. To make up for the missing nutrients, I gnawed on little fruit flavored, Flintstone shaped gummies.
For amusement I would polish my nails with a colorful combination of dibultyl phthalate, toluene, and formaldehyde, while sitting in front of a screen flashing vibrant images into my irises. We would play dress up in cute outfits sewn together by children half our age working in sweat shops while we plastered mom’s red lipstick onto our oblivious smiles. The majority of my life was spent surrounded by four walls and a roof, other than a few hours of mandatory outdoor time in the cement paved cul-de sac. My night and day was determined by a little white switch located on the wall and digital numbers displayed on the microwave.
To fit in I was advised to shave off any hair below my eyebrows, bake my skin in the scorching sun, fill my pores with flesh colored liquids, wax my eyebrows, douse myself in perfume, smooth down my nipples, don’t eat too much food, don’t eat to little food, pop my pimples, wear name-brand clothing, pump hormones into my body to prevent babies, and god forbid I don’t brush my hair!
As I grew older, I sought to develop friendships. However, lunch dates were futile as our eyes should have been locked in on one another, but in contrast they were dialed into the little black mirrors containing hurtful comparisons and bullshit realities. She sits only twelve inches away from me, but we will never experience intimacy. Her Snapchat depicts a situation where there is bonding occurring, yet our discussions are of which of the three filters makes our sushi look more appetizing and our foreheads appear smoother. I’ll leave lunch feeling overstuffed, but completely empty.
So what does all this mean? I tend to feel very out of place in my life. I feel a certain void that can only be remedied by long walks at the base of tall trees and meaningful conversation. I believe that days are better spent mainly outside expending energy, putting together fresh meals, and spending time with loved ones. All the focus on beauty, consumerism, and technology appears to be diminishing my quality of life. My ideal day would look something like the following: I would awaken from the piercing sunshine passing through my eyelids.
After a quick stretch of the muscles, I would sit with a loved one and share stories over a cup of tea or coffee. We would visit our garden in the yard to pick ripe fruits and vegetables, maybe snatching up a few eggs from the chicken coop and have a fresh omelet breakfast. I would spend the day reading, tending to my plants, working on personal art projects, hiking local trails, and devising the recipe that I will spend the last third of my day preparing. All of the neighbors will join us with offerings of hors d’oeuvres, wines, and desserts. We will finish the night cozied up around a sweltering fire with many instruments, playing our favorite songs before falling asleep soon after the sun passes beyond the horizon.
The goal of a life lived in this manner is to reconnect with nature, respect and cherish the earth for providing sustenance, and create deep, meaningful relationships with those you love. I find that the fast pace, money driven world we live in today has torn us apart from what it means to be alive. Not only that, this indirect consumption of resources has alienated us from the consequences of our actions. I am baffled by the idea that humans must be parasitic to the planet when we have the information and technology to maintain a symbiotic relationship with nature. This model of a day I have outlined is not unattainable, but it is also not most people’s ideal. I believe it takes a small community of likeminded people to create such a lifestyle where the focus is on family, food, and flora.
When I am surrounded by people who are constantly checking their phone updates or suggesting indoor activities, it can be hard to continue focusing on the objective. I imagine the best way to attract a group of people who share the same values with you is to gradually become the person you are striving to encounter. Maybe the oddities that set me apart today will one day be the foundation of me settling effortlessly into a life where I truly belong.