I must confess, in years prior, I frivolously stated the powerful string of three words to people that in no way held that level of significance in my life. Looking back, my utterance of the phrase came from a place of ignorance and desire for validation. Today, I have a healthier, more developed outlook on what love means to me. However, I believe each individual holds their own unique perspective on it and I’m sure as time unravels, mine will continue to evolve.

Love is, of course, ineffable because words have boundaries while love is immeasurable. Poets and journalists alike have exhausted their literary capabilities attempting to grasp the emotion. Reading such poems cannot properly convey the impression of love unless the reader has felt it personally. This poses a challenge for me today to attempt that very task. Generally speaking, it can be difficult to define any emotion. I do believe, nevertheless, it is beneficial to try to literarily encapsulate what love means for you personally, in order to set standards on what role it will play when applied in your life.

I have taken other people’s opinions on the matter into account. Some say love is found through time and experience.

“True love doesn’t happen right away; its an ever-growing process. It develops after you’ve gone through many ups and downs, when you’ve suffered together, cried together and laughed together.” Ricardo Montalban

Often people believe love is based on a firm decision and commitment.

“True love – that is, deep, abiding love that is impervious to emotional whims or fancy – is a choice. It’s constant commitment to a person regardless of the present circumstance.” – Mark Manson

The quotation that speaks loudest to me regarding love is from Ellen G. White.

“True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. It is, on the contrary, an element calm and deep. It looks beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.” – Ellen G. White

With family love seems to occur as effortlessly as a hot knife gliding through room temperature butter; like it’s already been prophesied by greater forces. They love you when your breath is reminiscent of the murky trenches of their laundry basket, or even when they have the deep desire to connect the back of their hand with the front of your mouth. It’s an everlasting supply that I never question. It’s not the crimson, thick fluid coursing through our arteries acting as the glue that fastens us all together, however. This is evident as we don’t all share the same genetic relations. My parents were initially eighth grade classmates that eventually intertwined their lives together through the union of marriage. Following that my father adopted my mothers first born daughter and the three agreed to be a permanent union

Those relationships were based on choices. Nonetheless, it didn’t end at a few signatures at the bottom of the page. My parents created a covenant where we always stuck together, took care of one another, and there was never any other option than that. My mom and dad spent their time training us to behave in such a way that they could love us. They taught us virtues such as respect, truthfulness, and commitment. I am grateful to have been raised with this foundation because I now have solid evidence that the creation of long term loving bonds is possible. Because of my parents I have the tools necessary to create more of these relationships beyond the ones within my family.

I think that you cannot force love, but in the same breath, it must be noted, it is a choice. It is important to choose those who are worthy of receiving it because love has a few necessary ingredients that, if not available, can cause pain and sadness rather than the desired emotion. Those include trust, respect, honesty, generosity, time, loyalty, reliability, affection, and communication. It is also important that they can reciprocate the love you offer them and that their understanding of it is similar in many ways to yours. When you open up those doors to share your life with someone, a friend or romantic companion, you will experience moments together that induce laughter, pain, suffering, sadness, joy, and wonder. I believe shared negative and positive experiences, paired with time and the qualities listed above are what is necessary for love.

To me love is the feeling of home. It feels like belonging, acceptance, comfort, constructive judgment, and knowing. To entirely define love may be impossible, but when you truly feel it, it is undeniable.

Love is the reason.